Monday, January 23, 2017

The Commissary is my Kingdom

The first time I went to a commissary I was with my friend Jaime. This was my induction into military life, David and I had not yet joined. We were mere peasants.

I knew nothing about military bases/posts. Nothing. I knew my friend lived on an Army post and I went to visit her. So I wasn't surprised by the house she lived in because I knew it's what I was coming to. However, when she took me inside the magical mostly-unmarked building I didn't know what awaited. It was a cross between a Costco and an old school Basha's. Who knew that Commissary was code for Black Ops Grocery Store? I didn't. Then Jaime really shocked me when she took me to a Burger King. On post! Say what? No taxes? What? I couldn't believe my eyes. There was a gas station, and a movie theatre, and a gym! These military posts really were something! Mind. Blown.

But really. If you know nothing about military life, then military posts/bases can be a mystery. Well now it's solved.

Fast forward to now. I am aware of some of the cultural norms surrounding military life. For instance, I know that baggers at the magical grocery store only work for tips. I've never been big on assistance with my groceries. It's always made me feel super awkward. But now I own it.

I've moved on from feeling bad about making someone do the work I'm clearly capable of doing to allowing them to treat me like the queen I am. To help in the process I created a crown made from Operational Camouflage Pattern with David's rank so no one has to wonder. After I've checked out, I ask them to walk behind me. I need space for my robe. And then when they have loaded my groceries into the car (I never help), I make them bow as I hand them their wages for the day. Some of them have even started calling me "Her Majesty". It's worked out really well for me. I don't feel awkward anymore. The Queen roams free.

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