Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Not So Pretty Things In Life

I sometimes get tired of fluffy posts. How many times have you heard that from me? So many. I want to be the voice of the unpretty but I feel like there's such a teeny tiny line between real and negative. And you know I'm all about the positivity. Mostly. Except when I'm not.

Last night I fell asleep thinking about how I wanted to go about doing this. I don't want to be the only one who does this though. Maybe I'll start a movement. Ha.

Should I tell you how I went downstairs, not fully clothed and worked on my home school room? Granted, I had a robe on. The same robe which I plan on wearing to our Bachelor finale party tonight! Woot! Anyway, you should see this room. I'll go down there and take a picture. It's ridiculous. It's become the catch-all room where kids play and we do school and we do laundry. It's a little intense. And I don't have access to a vacuum down there so the floor is so gross. You just wait.

Guess what the good news is though? I'm still doing the minimalist game and it's really motivated me to get rid of crap. It feels so good. I'll probably start another challenge next month (because I need it). So if you want in, let me know! It's good to have accountability buddies. Basically, you are just getting rid of the amount of stuff that corresponds with the date it is.

In other not so beautiful news, I'm really struggling with my health. I am terrible at taking care of myself. I had kidney stones for who knows how long. They started when I was pregnant with Jackson but I didn't know it. Finally my body had enough and there was a time (a couple of summers, usually when David was gone) when the pain became so unbearable I HAD to go to the hospital. I ended up having 3 different surgeries to remove them. They're still there!

Then there's the depression/anxiety. It's such a long story but I have struggled with depression for about 10 years on and off. I feel like it's not so much depression anymore but anxiety. It's stressful.

And currently, I'm concerned about my thyroid/heart. Ha. I know I sound like a hypochondriac. And I probably am, but rightfully so! My dad and grandpa died from heart issues, my sister had a heart attack at age 26, and this same so-very-healthy sister is dealing with life-threatening adrenal and thyroid issues. My mom also has thyroid issues. So does her one and only sister. And so does their dad (my other grandpa). I feel pretty doomed. However, in this crazy world of army life in Germany, I'm finding it a little difficult to find a provider who cares. I thought maybe I found "the one" but when i expressed my desire to have another blood workup done, she brought up the fact I had one done before I got here and that it was all normal. That was in April of last year. I can't tell you how much my life has changed since then. I guess I'm just writing this down so that if I die, it will be written somewhere. Hahaha. Negative! Right?

Well that's all. I have to go get my kids from outside because it's quiet time in Germany. Siesta time really. 

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