Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Life As An Army Wife: Surviving Army Lodging (IHG) and the DEERS/ID Office

I think I'll start a series. Well, I'll probably just use the term "series" to denote the blogs in which I write about my life in the Army. So far it's proven to be nothing short of cray cray. Again, I did not mean to say that. Another 16 year old term. Oopsy. Actually cray cray is a fun term. I'll keep using it. Okay, so here's a run down of my day.

It started early. We are in a room on post. It's actually a really nice room in comparison to other hotels. It's 2 rooms, has 2 flat screen TV's, a desk, a fridge, a microwave, 2 closets, and lots of other storage space. It really is so nice. Anyway, even with all of the space, we have 5 people in our family which is proving to be interesting as far as sleeping arrangements go.

David had a PT test today and came back to shower. It was like 6 a.m. Nevie woke up. Thus began our day.

So we leisurely got ready for the day. I tried to get everyone out the door by 9 to get to the continental breakfast. Neh. That didn't work.

We headed up to the gas station that has a bakery attached to it. We bought croissants and cinnamon rolls and breakfast sandwiches like any good mom would. They ended up all over the floor and all over our clothes. Yes, our.

Then we headed to the DEERS office to get me an ID card. It's very frustrating to me because according to the website, you don't need an appointment for a DD Form 1172-2. The website wasn't allowing me to make an appointment so I assumed it was correct. We headed to the office where I had to carry Nevie in the stroller up the stairs whereupon I was greeted by a sign that said something like, "You don't need an appointment if you have a DD Form 1172-2 (FOR HOUSING)". What? So then we go sit down in the waiting room and the TV with information on it said something like "You need an appointment regardless of what you are here for. Disregard all the other information we have lied to you about. We just wanted to test you." No it didn't say that. But basically it said we had to go see Mr. Someone in room 6 for an appointment. So we went on over and saw Mr. Guy and he gave us an appointment for 15 minutes later. We walked back to the waiting room and barely sat down before we were called back. Hueff. That's what my kids say instead of Phew! I think I was sweating by this time. Just kidding. Ladies don't sweat.

So I got my ID. And it's a fugly picture. I'm going back for a different one. It's REALLY bad. I almost want to post a picture but it's so gross. You'd vomit in your mouth. I think they should let us take our own pictures. There'd be an incredible amount of hold-the-phone-up-high-above selfies. And probably peace signs. At least everyone would be pretty and happy with their pictures. And they'd all be properly filtered, as in, cross-processed or my personal favorite, Nashville (from Instagram).

We went on over to the commissary. CLOSED on Mondays. Yup. Found that out after getting everyone out of the van. Bleh.

Here's the really fun part. We went back to the hotel and I headed to the front desk to get a copy of the key that I lost/didn't have/david may have taken. There I was told I couldn't get a copy because David didn't list me as a guest. Don't worry though, there were notes stating that he has 3 kids. But no wife. I find it rood. Just kidding. So there I am, standing there with two forms of ID with the same last name, telling them I have an 18 month old who REALLY needs a nap and they still tell me no. You would be pleased to know that I was very kind. I believe that being nice gets you further in life. Anyway, they told me they had to speak with David.

I sat in the van with my 3 kids. Waiting. I may have texted David a couple of bad words. Can't confirm or deny that though. It didn't take long. But in the process of waiting, Nevie tipped over a cup of water that was sitting on the dashboard. It was a large cup of water and there were lots of papers on that dash. That's fine, we can move past that.


It was this that really got me. After getting the key, I was driving back to where our room was and my Venti Starbucks White Mocha/Mocha Chocolate Milk fell out of its place. Onto the passengers side floor. No big deal right? It had a lid on it. Well I picked it up and there was a giant huge gaping crack in the cup. A freakin' CRACK!!! So it went everywhere. All over my dry-clean only petticoat, my very light colored tan jacket, the scrapbook paper I purchased per sheet from a craft store and my gossip magazines. I immediately started crying at that point. Couldn't help it.

Walked back into the room without having to insert the key because lo and behold! The cleaning lady was there! I'm sure she thought I was some hot mess and felt really bad for me because she so graciously put on giant yellow gloves to remove Nevie's shatty diaper from my hands.

By this time it was 10:00 a.m. Yup. That's right 10 AM! And it only gets better.

Thankfully, David came to the rescue. I think the Lord knows us because he came home on a long lunch (the first one he's ever had, he said) with another Starbucks, Sour Patch Kids and a pizza for lunch. I'm thankful.

It is November and it seems everyone's on the gratitude bandwagon. I really am too and I know it's seeming as if that isn't the case. These things just make for much better reading than, "I have the best husband in the world and he's better than yours" you know?

I wish you better luck with your experiences at DEERS and IHG and with your Starbucks.

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