Saturday, October 30, 2010

2 kids are hard!

Shut up. I know what you are thinking. "She is so lame if she can't handle 2 kids." K but listen. My 2 kids are 17 months apart. And my oldest one is 3.42 years old. And they are a handful! After all, they are my offspring!

So we go to the store today. And it's an experience for sure! I'm a good mom and I let my kids ride in the buslike carts with a vehicle on the front.  You know the ones with all the germs on them? Normally they last awhile riding in them. No. Not this time. Jackson was literally dragging his body outside the cart because I refused to stop. I just wasn't giving in to him wanting to "push" the cart, a.k.a drive it like a race car.

I'm that mom you hate at the store. The one that lets her kids sit on TOP of the car, and hang off the side of the cart. Because frankly, it's so much easier. I just want to get my milk and eggs (and brownie mix, and bananas, and yogurt, onion soup mix, marinara sauce, sour cream, and the 3 boxes of twinkies that my kids threw in for good measure). So instead of putting up a fight, I just let it be.

At least when we got to the bakery, in order to get the free cookie, I told them they had to get off of whatever part they were hanging on. They did! They even said please and thank you. After about 2 minutes, those delicious sugar cookies were wasted on the bottom of the germ infested cart. Sad day.

Let's not forget about checking out!  I hate grocery store checkouts more than anything in this whole world. It's so contradictory! Let's flood people with images of skinny beeyotches and then tempt them (and their children) with confectionary bliss. Good idea people. Ugh. It pisses me off. My favorite quote of all time from a movie is one from 13 Going on 30.

Young Jenna Rink: I don't want to be beautiful in my own way. I want to look like these people (pointing to magazine).
Beverly Rink: Oh those aren't people honey, those are models.

OMG. Does no one else think that line is so funny? Or is it really just me? Even amid the craziness, I escaped without a scratch. But Sadie didn't. She was working her way into people to get to the dreaded Rolos. She prefers to rip the gold tinfoil to shreds (they are the only candy wrapper she can open). Anyway,  she totally pushed this huge guy out of the way, and at about that time I had had enough. So I took her by her arm and accidently smacked her head on the cart. It was sad. You can imagine the stares of people as I'm walking out. Tomorrows headline reads, "Mother Abuses Child in Safeway Checkout Line: Sentenced to Life in Prison" Please? Can I? Just kidding.

I do love my kids. But that doesn't mean they are easy.

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