Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Outsider

I read these peoples blogs and yet they don't even know me. I feel like the girl who sits on the swings and watches as everyone else plays soccer (that really happened... several times, in 5th grade). There is this whole established click within the ring of blogs that I read. I should probably branch out. It makes sense that it is that way because i found one blog, and she had links to another and so I have limited myself to that community. I am ready to step out. I am ready to move on. I'm tired of being the outsider who is not involved. It doesn't matter how many comments I leave, they won't accept me. And that's fine. I'll find those who will. Of course I am exaggerating a little bit (I do that at times), but still. It's my feelings and I'll write what I want to.

On the other hand, moving is going well. Packing I should say. Megan G. is the master. She has helped out so much. I feel like I work so hard all day and yet I don't see a lot of progress. Oh yeah, I am slightly frustrated with el hubby. I know he has been working hard but I don't see the progress. I am the type of person that has to SEE stuff done to believe it. I don't think he has packed one box. He is right in saying that I have a certain way of doing things. It's true. That doesn't mean he can't pack a box. That's also doesn't mean I won't go through it and repack it. Still... lol. I'm funny. My thinking doesn't make sense. I can blame that on the pregnancy right?

I'm going to miss the people here in PA SO much. I made this list at church as I sat in the parking lot with my sleeping chicken nugget. I listed all the things I would miss about PA. I did NOT list the people because that would take a lot more paper than I had room to write on. I am going to miss the entire church branch. They have been fabulous to our little family. They threw us a party tonight and it was great. People showed up with snacks and love and smiles. I love them. So much. I'm going to miss all the well-knowns of Lock Haven. The Bellefonte Ave walker who yelled at me for looking at her. I'm scared of her now. I shield my face whenever I see her because I don't want the wrath. I'm going to miss all of my Fairview friends. I already miss Radioman (Dave). He died and I am sad. I'm going to miss my next door neighbor Santa. She is wonderful. Who's gonna tell me to move my car so I don't get tickets? I guess I won't have to in Phoenix. I'm going to miss the old man who walks briskly up and down the street every day with his sweet demeanor and genuine smile. What about Bad and Janells crazy neighbor who honks when he sees you? And Kip. Our very own neighbor who EVERYDAY since we have been here, has had a bandana around his ankle. The one who works at a museum and has "Da Vinci Code" experiences almost every day. He hasn't been shot at though. That's what he said. Well thank goodness. I should probably go find out his real name. And Brian who works at Subway. We're friends now. What about the sisters from Leo's who are always so excited to see Jackson? They have known me through every stage of my pregnancy. Ahh.... these people are so wonderful and have contributed so much to my experiences here.

What about all my friends? I don't think I could spend enough time talking about these ones. John and Alyssa were here the exact first day we moved in. Alyssa carried all the heavy boxes for me. We sat with them and played the guitar on our empty cushined couches, ate pizza and relaxed. On moving in day. Is that possible? What a memory. They've been there for us through everything. They are the type of friends that you will know forever regardless of where you are, or how much you talk. I LOVE that so much. Aaron and Jenny. These ones make me a little emotional mostly because our recent time together has been a little non-existent. Not at the fault of anyone. Jenny has been the bestest friend anyone could ask for. She became more like a sister to me than anything. I think I spent more time with her than David sometimes :-). Abe and Janell. Ugh. They are amazing. That's all there is to say about them. They have been amazingly charitable to us. I feel like we can count on them for anything. I can't stand the thought of leaving them. I never thought it would be this hard. I have grown closer to Janell than I realized. I am going to miss walking down the street to her house just to hang out. What about the barbeques and mall trips? What about hanging out as a family? They are the best family I have ever had. I mean that too. Jackson LOVES his cousins so much (especially Avery :-)). I thought maybe I would go crazy living so close to in-laws, but I'm going to go crazy without them. For some reason, Janell gets me. I don't even have to say anything and she understands. We look like sisters and I think we actually may be. Seperated at birth? It's funny that a little over a year ago Janell and I joked about her moving here from AZ to play with the ducks in the river. Now, I'm leaving those ducks behind for her to take care of.

There are so many more people I haven't even mentioned and I love them so much. Unfortunately I am exhausted from my hard day at work, and sad from my relfections. I am however, very happy for the adventures to come.

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